so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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