No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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