Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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