i just wanna soil my oats bro
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
