While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
