I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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