I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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