Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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