He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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