You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
