All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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