Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
