just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
