i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
