i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
