how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
