some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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