i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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