She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
