I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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