she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
