I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
