I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize