I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Screwed.edu
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Alive.
So much puke
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
