I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
