he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
