Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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