Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
