just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
