Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
