More tranny stories later!
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
