I just made out with a guy for $7.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
