Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think your dad took our porno
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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