Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
