Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
