im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
