Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
