At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
