Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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