I think my vagina is haunted
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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