i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
