I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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