Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
