people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
