You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
