The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
