We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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