shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
