she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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