Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
false alarm. still invincible.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
