Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
