This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
