I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just high enough for therapy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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