I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
