..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I intend to get homeless drunk
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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