So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
