After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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