He asked me if I "almost moaned"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
