Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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