Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize