i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
where does the pee come out of this thing
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
