doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
