How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
