I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
