like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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