Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
